Healing

May time heal my heart.

Spring break had come and gone. We made it to Niagara Falls and was totally mesmerized with the beauty of this natural wonder. Well, at least I am. My teens are more like, "this is it? or Is there a bigger fall on the other side of Canada?" lol. My two toddlers are just as excited as I am, different perspective or maybe my little girl self is just taking a step forward. 

It's one thing off my bucket list, yay. It was cold but the 5 of us had a great time. Have to come back when its warmer to get the full experience of its strength by taking a trip on the Maid of the Mist and to the cave. 

My daughter received a great news when we got back. Acceptance letter from the College of William and Mary is waiting :-) so happy for her. Although, I am keeping my fingers crossed for John Hopkins University knowing if she does get in, she will definitely pursue medicine. So the next day, she got an email. Drum roll please... it began with We regret. Damn. Then she read more and found out why, its not because she wasn't good enough, its because her father failed to complete his part of the application. So selfish, so disappointing , so urghhh. Nothing her father does or doesn't do surprises her anymore. Me, on the other hand, is so upset and again so disappointed by the person I thought so highly of. I keep reminding myself he is no longer the person whom I thought I knew, the one I fell in love with and planned to grow old with. He is just the shell of the man we used to know. Would he ever have a relationship with his kids? Does he even plan to? His recent action or inaction proves otherwise. He is so consumed with his mistress and doing things for her, he doesn't realized he is ruining his relationship with his children. Abandoning his family because he feels his mistress needs him more? WTF. 

Karma, that is whats going to bite him and his mistress in the ass. They feel that because they love each other, adultery becomes acceptable. He is now the laughing stock of his colleagues, they know this woman and they know he is not the first married man she hooked up with but he is definitely the stupidest. She's 20 years younger, so it strokes his ego and he truly feels its divine guidance. Whatever. 

Its spring. Time for new beginnings, new opportunities, new life. So that's what my children and I are concentrating on. Moving on and living our lives our way. We don't need him, we only need his financial support to maintain our lifestyle. Someday, I want him to miss what he easily gave up, I want him to wake up and regret. Do I want him to suffer? Not particularly, but I want him to repent. I want her to feel all the pain she caused me, my children and all the other family she broke apart. Do I feel bad for her? No, she chose her way of life. She chose to use and have relations with married man for her gain, she didn't think twice about the pain she caused for her sake alone and I don't believe for a second that she felt bad for me and the kids even if she sold that same line to my husband. He said his eyes are open to what they are doing, so the responsibility is theirs. I guess, as everyone says, we are better off without him. I only hope that time will heal and numb my heart of him.