Crazy

Had another insane text war with my future ex. Why the hell do I do this? Simple, I still love the asshole. Urgh. I need to stop loving him coz it effing hurts and he's not even worth it. I hate getting disappointed but I keep hanging in for scraps? What happened to me? Does love made me this weak pathetic wife who still longs for her adulterer husband? Or is it my fear of the unknown? Whatever it is it has to stop for my sake and peace of mind. Do I really want this cheating bastard to come back? I can't even begin to trust him again much alone respect him. Wake up! I never thought I'd see myself in this situation of feeling lost because of a man. Ha! He is not worth it. When did I ever became like my mother who stayed with my father abuse after abuse, mental not physical both at its worst. Buckle up self, it's time to strap the moving on seat and launch yourself away from this asshole. Laugh and be happy. You don't need someone who prefers a woman touched by so many hands, have no conscience about breaking a marriage. You deserve better and much more. Keep reminding yourself there are better fish in the sea. You're worth it.